no makeup was worn today.
no beds were made and nothing was crossed off my design list for the house.
dinner is the same as what we had for lunch.
the 2 blog drafts i had wanted to finish and post are still sitting waiting patiently for another day… a day when temperatures are normal and their capacity for me ‘working’ is a little higher.
i had dreamt of a productive day. a day i could feel super good about when it ended. a day that would serve as proof against those niggling fears that if i am not doing, working and accomplishing than i am not important… yes i have those… lots.
today was not one of those days. today was about them. about them needing a momma. about me needing to choose to ignore my fears and give them myself. my precious time and my full capacity. i had to say sorry several times for being edgy–letting go of today was hard for me.
but i am hoping that my effort and my heart came through anyway. and that they got the message that mommy is about lots of things. but that they, when in need, get first spot everytime.